TIME FOR SOME COURAGE

   After hating this woman so much I unfortunately have realized that I have become her...... I have excused my actions for far to long and have done what every person tells you not to do with your ex. Because of it I have not made much improvement since he left. I know there is no excuse for my actions but for a long time I have fantasized about us getting back together and putting all of this behind us.... and well by sleeping with him it felt as if that fantasy could become a reality.... because come on how can he have sex with me if he doesn't love me?!?! Did I forget he has a damn PENIS!!!
  Boy where in the world has my head been!!! I am doing everything wrong and I know it! I have put ME aside and given him a friendship he doesn't deserve.
  I AM DONE!!! ITS TIME I FINALLY TAKE CARE OF MYSELF! CAN'T BECOME THAT WOMAN THAT I HATE!

SOMETIMES ITS GOOD TO VENT....

  As embarrassing as this might be for me, maybe venting over it will help me in some way. Confession time.... I have an obssession, I have found myself googling  "why did my husband leave me for another woman?" and things like that.  As much as I read about other woman going through the same thing as me I don't seem to find long term comfort. I want to be in that stage where I feel good, where I no longer think about him, and where I finally have a career. Why is it so hard?!?!
  My biggest issue is feeling unworthy and useless. I dwell to much on the what if's and it hasn't done me any good. I of course have my good days when I feel empowered and ready to conquer the world but my mind always seems back to being negative. I have made a little progress but to be honest last year I thought I would be in a better place by now. I guess a little progress is better than none right? One thing I do recommend to anyone that has is in the same situation I am in. Talk about it!! Don't keep it all inside!! If you are hurting let it out! Don't ever think this other woman is better than you! If you did all you could for your marriage and were the best wife you could be, then be proud! Its his loss not yours!

Taking one day at a time....